Discussion Guide
Maybe your family has just figured out how to use Zoom together and it feels awkward. Or you’re pros on FaceTime already and have a weekly call. Maybe most of you are cooped up together in one space but you’re bummed about not going to the cemetery or being able to do all of the rituals. Maybe you feel more comfortable over the phone, email or writing a letter. This will work no matter the medium and can happen not just on April 4th.
The following questions are meant to bring the spirit of Ching Ming and ancestors to your spaces - both virtual and physical. We also realize that it can be tough, culturally, to talk about feelings with your elders! So feel free to choose the ones that resonate with you and that you think will work and skip the ones that don’t.
Practice the rituals if it feels right, or maybe just talk about them if it doesn’t. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. And if you feel inclined to, record and capture these conversations that go on with you and your family – whether it's just with one person or everyone in your family group. We’ve put together some tips for good results, and then you can then send them to us for inclusion in the project.
Prompts
[We created two Google Slides decks – optimized for mobile & desktop – that contains these prompts, so for those of you who are pro screen sharers, go crazy!]
Think about the ancestors or loved ones who you would have visited or thought about for Ching Ming. Pick an individual to focus on for each round. Each participant can choose a prompt or you can do them all together. It’s up to you. Some of these prompts may require a little preparation, so let your families know ahead of time.
About Ching Ming
What does Ching Ming mean to you?
How do you and your family practice it?
What are the rituals you would do?
What is your favorite part of Ching Ming? Least favorite?
What will you miss about not being able to participate in Ching Ming this year? Why?
Are there ways that you could do it at home?
Would you know how to perform the rituals, or does someone else lead them?
Is there something different that you or your family does that others don’t?
[If you’re the older generation]: What do you wish that the younger people would carry on with them? Whether it’s memories or rituals or both?
[If you’re the younger generation]: What do you wish you knew about your elders?
About the person
Who is the person that you’re remembering?
Who were they in the family or in your life?
What was your relationship to this person and how did it develop?
What was their story, if you know it?
How did this person often make you feel?
Show an object that reminds you of this person - Why did you choose that object?
Find a photo of that person - what was going on in the photo?
What does this photo make you feel now?
What food would you have brought for that person to celebrate Ching Ming? Why?
Do you have it on hand? Show it to the group.
Would someone prepare it or was it bought?
Is there anything specific that you would burn for this person as part of Ching Ming? What was it and why?
What is your favorite story about this person?
What do you wish you knew about this person?
What do you wish you could say to that person?
If you could have another day with this person, what would you do with them? Why?
What does that connection mean to you today, even though that person is no longer with you around?
What do you think are the most important things for the next generation to know about this person?