Famous Sticky Rice
A memoriam for Fung Ping Lee (June 7, 1933 - April 22, 2020)
Our mom, Fung Ping Lee, passed away at age 86 on April 22, 2020. She was a remarkable woman who left an indelible mark on our lives and those of our families. Despite her health struggles in recent years, her sharp mind, intensity and passion were never far from the surface. While processing our grief, we’ve had an opportunity to stop and think about what made her so amazing.
FEARLESS. Mom was one of the smartest people that we knew. Growing up her only formal schooling was 10 months of night school. No grade school, no middle school, no high school – but you could never guess. She was self-taught in every aspect of her life and never let her lack of formal education limit her in any way. In fact, she never let anything stand in her way and she instilled that in her children. Mom was a feminist before the term was even coined. She had incredible strength – physical, mental, and emotional – and she never hesitated to stand up for what she thought was right. She led by example and showed us every day that we could do anything we set our minds on. Mom never saw gender as a differentiator, and she made sure her daughters never did.
FAMILY. We immigrated from Hong Kong in 1966 with pennies in our pockets, the clothes on our backs and four kids under the age of 7. We spoke no English. We were grateful for our first apartment, a tiny one room studio with no room to walk when our assortment of pullout beds were open. Our story wasn’t that different from many immigrant families but what was remarkable was that within 5 years our mom had somehow found a way to buy our first house in Brooklyn. She scraped together enough savings from her sewing factory wages and my dad’s Chinese restaurant meager pay for a down payment and secured a mortgage despite her limited education and no English skills. She did remarkable things like that time and time again. Mom worked tirelessly and sacrificed so much for our family and never stopped pushing us to be smarter and better. She loved her children and their spouses, Peter Leong and Tony Tam. And she cherished her grandchildren: Jonathan, Adam, Kelsey, Marisa, Katherine, Nicholas, Rachel and Daniel.
FIERCE. Mom didn’t suffer fools lightly and if you said or did something she thought was foolish, she let you know directly and forcefully. No one was spared – family, friends and even the occasional stranger. If she had one mantra, it would have been “don’t be stupid.” She could be blunt at times, but it was always with the intention to help you be better. Only those who really care will push you to be better. And if you ever scored a compliment, it was a little like winning the lottery. Few and far between, but not easily forgotten.
FOOD. Mom loved to cook because she appreciated good food. Even when we had little money, she always made sure we went out for dinner as a treat. She especially loved to cook for others. Like in all things, she was a self-taught cook and had no instruction or recipes. No detail was too small or too much effort for her. If you were lucky, she made you her famous sticky rice that she spent days preparing. Sometimes she even prepared her own dried fatty pork for sticky rice because she said it was better than store bought. Everything she made was delicious and made from scratch. Stuffed eggplant with homemade fish cake, steamed translucent dumplings, and delicious soups that warmed your soul and strengthened your body are just a few examples. She loved us through her cooking and preparing food for us was what she dreamt and talked about every time we saw her.
FUN. Mom worked hard but she also appreciated the fun aspects of life. In her younger years, she could easily polish off a bottle of Johnny Walker with friends. She was always active and loved to explore cities, zoos and botanical gardens. As she became less mobile, she enjoyed visiting Atlantic City and watching game shows like Wheel of Fortune. Mom may not have known the words being spelled out, but she always thoroughly enjoyed when the spin landed on bankrupt.
Each of us has our own special memories of mom and no one could ever replace her. She helped shape us into the strong, capable and determined women that we are today. We will always miss her.
Wanda
New York, NY
May 2020
