Tie and Jacket

“I moved to Germany over 10 years ago, and none of my family is buried nearby. As such, Ching Ming has evolved into a time to think about ancestors and remember the good times we had. It’s also often a time of reflection that my grandparents left China for a better life in the United States, and I followed in their footsteps and left the United States for what I thought is a better life in Germany. At the same time, it makes me homesick for family because I am mostly not around when Ching Ming rolls around and my family back in the US gets together.”

This is a photo of my grandfather from 1965.

I remember him always being impeccably dressed in a suit and tie.

The jacket would come off while we were at home, but he would still have his tie on. I never understood it, but I remember going through Chinatown with him and my sister in the summer and he definitely appeared to get respect because of how he was dressed.

But what I loved most was when he would shed his suit and tie and don his undershirt and other pants for home when he cooked dinner. The kitchen didn't have a door, so he would pull a curtain to signal we should not come into the kitchen. I would peek under the curtain to see him using a large cleaver to chop whatever it was: a lobster, a chicken, vegetables. He had been a restaurant owner and chef and his meals were always delicious.

I'm sad that he passed when I was nine years old and I hadn't been interested in Chinese cuisine back then. As an adult, I would've asked him what his secrets were, what his cooking techniques are, and what they mean to him. Now I teach myself through trial and error, finding recipes, and tweaking them to what I remember they tasted like.

Sannie Lee
Germany